The following testimony was prepared in accordance with the practice of Quakers. It has been approved by Witney Friends, read at an Area Meeting and forwarded to Britain Yearly Meeting for record.
WITNEY
LOCAL QUAKER MEETING
Testimony
to the grace of God as shown in the life of Sue Bowers (13.7.33- 27.4.16)
To the very end, Sue retained a vigour and a smile
which characterised her whole approach – to people, to opportunities, and to
the mediation and peace work which she pioneered.
She was at the forefront of bringing conflict
resolution work into UK schools in the 1980s, supported by Kingston on Thames
Friends, where she and her husband John first came into membership in 1975.
This was something of an impromptu second career; Sue had trained as a nurse in
the 1950s, giving this up after marriage to John, a shipping executive then
based in Liverpool, with whom she had a son and a daughter.
Sue was one of the founders and leaders of Kingston
Friends Workshop Group, the outcome of her concern about bullying in schools.
KFWG introduced to the UK a wide range of tools to help prevent and manage
bullying in schools, and the use of mediation for conflict resolution in the
school environment. At the time, what could be described as peace education was often regarded with
suspicion, especially in a rather right-wing council, where the first
initiatives were taken. However, both an imaginative educational inspector and
a committee member with a child in a local school gave strong and effective
support, and within a year, the group was giving workshops to train teachers in
conflict resolution techniques. The broad approach was summarised as
‘communication, affirmation, cooperation and problem-solving’, based on four
key questions: What happened? How do you feel about it? What would you like to
do? And what can we actually do?
The methods which the group pioneered have become
widely known and disseminated, and live on in common practice in schools,
though their origins are probably not widely known or celebrated. Sue would not
have cared about this. Modest, loving and deeply convinced, she shared her
insights with a sense of joint exploration. She was passionate that peace was
not about avoiding conflict, but about confronting and working through
differences. She carried this approach into every enterprise undertaken with
Friends and others.
John’s second retirement in 1990 brought a move to
Dorset, where for thirteen years they held between them most of the posts
within the Area Meeting and contributed greatly to it. Sue’s kindness and
compassion showed through in all she did; and her energy and enthusiasm were
such that sometimes it seemed as if only John’s gentle direction of it
prevented Sue from self-destructing!
The legacy left to Dorset of Mediation Dorset that
was set up by Sue has been immense. It was ahead of its time, and right – every
solicitor and court now offers ‘mediation’ but the quality and impartiality
that was integral to Mediation Dorset was invaluable to its clients and a
flagship for Quakers.
Sue went on to teach conflict resolution with Marian
Liebmann in Woodbrooke Quaker Studies Centre and Queen’s College, Birmingham,
work which was greatly valued by Quakers and theologians in training
alike.
Life was also for living – Sue and John’s shared
interests in music and sailing, and the embedding of a musical creativity in
the family, nourished them and their friends. A move to the Cotswolds to be
nearer their children brought their energies first to Charlbury meeting, and
then to Witney meeting. Here they once again made themselves part of the heart
of both meetings.
In 2004, following the Iraq war, Sue and John
became prime movers in what eventually became Peaceroots, an independent
charity formed to support people in war-torn areas attempting to find
non-violent solutions to conflict, to bring reconciliation and to build
sustainable peace. It also aimed to raise the public profile of such work, and
to demonstrate its benefits through dialogue with governments and decision-
makers. This work ran alongside that of the family trust set up by Sue and John
which provided support for 40-50 charities a year. One example was the Olive
Tree programme, in which Israeli and Palestinian students at London
universities were enabled to meet each other as equals and friends, rather than
strangers and enemies.
Finding a home which was more accessible as age and
health became more pressing concerns had a particular influence in the
re-establishment of Witney meeting, which had been laid down some decades
earlier. Sue and John, retiring to the town from Charlbury, initiated the home
group which has now become a thriving local meeting in its own right. Sue was always keen to take on fresh ideas,
and to keep those working with her in training, as it were, and part of her
commitment to the young meeting was to create opportunities to learn together.
She helped ensure that the Quaker experience was explained and explored through
the provision of study groups for both enquirers and longer-standing Friends
and she planned for members of the meeting to get to know one another better in
away days and shared lunches. There were outreach events, when distinguished
lecturers were invited to share their expertise, and she and John offered
hospitality and challenge with love and enthusiasm. Her ministry in meeting was
always rooted in practical experience, given with strength and wisdom. Though we knew that sometimes Sue’s
organisational expectations could outrun the time available, we all welcomed
her practicality and enthusiasm.
It was characteristic of Sue that she and John both
responded in good time to the advice to plan well for one’s funeral and death.
The guidance to the funeral advisors for Witney in 2012 was full of love and
realism: organ donation (her body was accepted for medical research), green
burials, flowers and catering were spoken of alongside the family needs, the
trust in Quaker processes and the foundation of Quaker experience. Sue lived
out her precepts to the end. Her own severe illness in 2013, and the onset of
John’s dementia, meant careful planning about where and how to live out the
last few years. They had hoped to move to a new retirement village in Witney,
but had to accept that by late 2015, it would be necessary to go to a similar
community in Letcombe Regis. It was still near enough for Witney Friends to
remain in touch, and to help prepare the memorial meeting in summer 2016. At this, music from her family and friends
soared over the sadness and gratitude of the hundred or more who gathered to
give thanks for the grace of God in this life of committed and creative
service.
15.4.17
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